Saturday, May 27, 2006

Jo Bling the Dog Faced Boy

OK, so, thanks to a slightly unrelated prompt from Mr Culbard I feel it's my duty to relay this story to you.

The school that I was at on Thursday, Spennithorne in Wensleydale, was a very sweet little school in a very sweet little village full of very sweet little children. In the most part. There's always one, isn't there?

I'd done my storytelling and sketching for all the school, and it was getting towards the end of the day. All the kids were buzzing after the workshops - as one teacher has said before now it'd save a lot of time if I just injected pure sugar into the kids' brains instead of spending the full forty minutes with each class - it'd create an identical effect! Anyway, there's just the one wee class to see last of all and that's about 8 or 9 reception kids, little ones with the archetypal streams of candlewax snot and wandering fingers, you've seen them I'm sure.

I introduce myself and before I can say anything more one kid shouts out a line that'll probably make it to my gravestone, one that I never expected to hear (like a fool) but shall henceforth expect when working with kids:

"You're really hairy!!!"

Arthur was his name, 3ft of cockiness and honesty rolled into a bundle of mischief. Admittedly I had a shortsleeved shirt on and the old chestwig was rather erupting from it's housing. Well, young Arthur only said it as he saw it without the shackles of decorum and decency that stop you or I shouting things out at strangers in the street. Suffice to say I buckled up in kinks along with the teacher who didn't know WHAT to say or WHERE to look - she was crimson! I don't usually get stumped but on this occasion young Arthur had me for a duck!

Certainly beats "Where do you get your ideas from?" or "How much money do you make?"

PS: Thanks to Mr Culbard for generously lending me this snapshot from his passport...... ;-)


paulhd said...

Big grin!

I. N. J. Culbard said...

Passport photo?? cheeky monkey! I think you'll find that's a picture of your bottom, Mister Bling, taken back in our college days proving once and for all that you really do talk out of you- oops! better watch what I say;-)

Jo Bling said...

The I have an enigmatic and more peculiar-than-one-could-ever-have-imagined bottom then! Hey, I have two brown eyes!!! :-D

I. N. J. Culbard said...

and puckered lips no less!!!

Jo Bling said...

You took a running jump at that line, didn'tcha?

Niel Bushnell said...

Keep your stinking paws off thedn you damn dirty ape!

Jo Bling said...

I swear I was "that" close to getting locked up in a bamboo cage, I kid you not. All I'd need then is to have the Year 4 Class lobotomise me with a Johnny Ball Science Kit and it'd have been "Job's a goodun!"